All posts filed under: Family

Mummy Wars… Mothers Fighting Over Their Choices

Is it true that to be a good mother, your child must not spend time in paid for childcare? Do you think this ‘fact’ is just another way of putting a wedge between women? I believe it could well be a way of holding women back from achieving their dreams? Before my husband John and I got married, we talked and agreed on the type of childcare we wanted for our children (if we ever had children). The agreement was that one of us would have to sacrifice his or her career for a few years. Well, at least until the children were in full-time education. And this was what we did when our first daughter was born. Practicality meant I was the one who gave up their career because it made sense to; John earned far more than me. I remember the day I called my former employers (a well-known pharmaceutical company) to resign. I felt sad and angry that I had to give up my seat at the table. A seat I had …

What Every Woman In A Relationship Must Know Now

Would you leave a safe but unhappy marriage for a happier life? Would you have the strength to leave your husband or wife to have no regrets when you are on your dying bed? Would it make any difference that the partner you are thinking of leaving has been tolerant and supportive of you? I asked myself these questions after watching the last episode of House of Cards. (Warning: spoiler alert). Yes, I know that Claire and Frank Underwood are fictional characters in a TV show, but Claire’s decision to walk away from it all left me with some soul-searching questions of my own. These are the questions I have asked you. The underlying agreement of all married couples is to love and support one another, I have this in my marriage to John, so do Claire and Frank. But there is a difference – my real-life marriage is old-fashioned; the Underwoods modern. So, in my old-fashioned views of what I believe a marriage must be, Claire and Frank’s marriage has always fascinated me. Claire and Frank …

Love In Different Colours

The nine-year old boy in this photograph is not the young Ed Sheeran, his name is John.

John and Ed Sheeran only have the colour of their hair in common. In fact, this nine-year old is no longer a boy but a 47-year-old man. He is old enough to be either Ed Sheeran’s dad or uncle.

John is my husband, my long-suffering and easy-going husband of 10 years. John is clearly white with some Scottish and English blood running through his veins and I, the daughter of Yoruba parents. In England, I am Black African and John, White British…

That Telephone Conversation

I couldn’t listen anymore; I couldn’t stand the gloom in her voice. I’d spent more than thirty minutes on the phone hearing her repeat again and again the details of her serious car crash.

I think she was still in shock of it all. But for my own selfish reasons, I needed her out of this vexing shock.

Interrupting her without apologising, I asked why the sadness in her voice. Why she was not rejoicing that she was not dead but alive, that she had not left her four young children motherless.

Honour Thy Father and Mother

My phone rings, the screen displayed “Dad“. I had to make a split second decision whether to pick his call or not. I reached a decision. A very comfortable decision. I pressed the red phone button on my BlackBerry, his call, rejected. He called back again and again but with guilt and a broken heart, I kept rejecting his calls. This is a story about a father and a daughter.