Am I ever going to accept and love my body unconditionally? If I ever will, then when? I asked myself this question as I tried on a blouse this afternoon in a shop. Please do not tell me that I am the only person who feels this way about her body. Please tell me you understand and can relate to my feelings.
Most mornings when I look at my naked body in the mirror, she actually looks strong, healthy and beautiful. But on the odd occasion like this afternoon I find myself struggling with the shape of my body. I struggle to accept the stretched skin around my tummy that came when my daughters were born. This stretched skin has refused to go away. It just won’t budge no matter what I do. My ‘wobbly tummy’ as my daughters call it just sits there and stares back at me.
As I have mentioned in this blog before – until a few years ago, I had a big bottom. And by the way, my huge bottom was not the only part of me that was enormous. My breasts, tummy, thighs, arms… in short, every part of me was big! But it all changed when I made a decision to reduce them to a reasonable size. So, I picked a diet that I could stick to and I began exercising. This worked for me and it still does.
However, every morning I obsessively stand on the bathroom scales. With this crazy routine comes a fear – a fear that the weight I had lost may be hiding somewhere in my house eagerly waiting to pounce on me. Ridiculous isn’t it? Yes, I know! I recognise that it is stupid to think this way, but I can’t help it.
But going back to my original question, am I ever going to wholeheartedly accept my body the way it is? I do really want to accept and love her every day of the week and not just for a few days now and then. The odd thing about my feeling for her is some days… actually most days… I know I look good naked and in the clothes I wear. But sometimes, like today, I struggle to accept what I see in the mirror. I struggle to unconditionally love the body that is faithful and loyal to me. The body that has never let me down. My body that gives me pleasure with my husband John. My body that carried my two beautiful daughters for over nine months each. My lovely, strong and loyal body.
Have you truly accepted your body? If you have, I need some talking to.
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