Everyday Life, Featured
Comments 6

Life Lessons I Try To Live By

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  1. Forgiveness. For a long time in my life, I struggled with forgiving people. Age has taught me that forgiving is not really for the person who has offended me. It is for me.
  2. What People are thinking about me. I tend not to worry anymore over what other people are thinking about me. They’re too busy worrying over what I am thinking about them.
  3. Judgement by others. I now understand that the people who don’t know me will always judge me. They will judge me by what I say and how I say it. They will judge me by my choice of clothes, where I live and where I come from. In my case, Nigeria. I cannot stop human judgments but what I won’t allow is for judgments to stop me.
  4. Pleasing Others. I still struggle with this one. I know it is not my duty to make others happy but I do it sometimes. Particularly, when it comes to my daughters. Pleasing others has held me back a lot but I am working on this. I will get there.
  5. Worrying. I was once the Queen of Worry but I gave up my throne some years ago. As a mother and wife, I know I can’t help but worry about problems when they arise. Nowadays, I do not worry about the unnecessary stuff. About the necessary stuff, I ask myself What is the worst that can happen? and go from there.
  6. Hair cut is for a barber. So, two Sundays ago, I stood in front of a mirror and clipped away at my hair. My already non-existent hair! Big mistake. Currently, I have a patch on my head that is going to take a few months to grow back.
  7. True Pleasure and Happiness. It took 40 years for me to find what really makes me happy. Pleasure and happiness is sitting on my cheap IKEA sofa, hot water bottle by my feet and watching TV on a Saturday night with my two daughters and husband.
  8. My gut instinct is never wrong. Anytime I don’t go by what my gut is saying to me, I am full of regrets later. Why? My gut never lies. It knows what I don’t.
  9. Saying no to unreasonable requests is liberating. This is an art that must be mastered by everyone. I learnt this art the hard way. I am not a master at it yet but I am getting there. I shall consider myself a master when I give no excuses, lie or explain myself. I just say NO.
  10. Making excuses for people’s behaviour. When someone shows me who they truly are, I believe them. I don’t make excuses for them. Maya Angelou taught me this and I learnt pretty quickly.
  11. Asking for help. After so many years of arguments with my husband. And so many fuming moments with my daughters, I have learnt that it is alright to ask for help.
  12. The price of my handbag, coat or shoes no longer bothers me. As a typical Nigerian woman, I used to like expensive things. Nigerians like the best. It does not matter if we can afford it or not. Like it or loathe it, it is the Nigerian way of life. Marrying someone from a different culture has helped me in changing this way of thinking. I now know that wearing cheap or expensive items of clothing won’t make you like me any more or less . I just wear what I like.
  13. Updating my Google calendar. This is a last-minute add on. My husband John has just called me on my phone. He called to let me know that yet again, I have not updated the family’s household calendar with my plans for next week.

Yvonne xxx


  1. I’m a big fan of cross-cultural marriage. My own husband is from Kenya. He really fills up the gaps in my life experience and personality. I learn so much from him! I would be half a person without him, and my world would be so constrained


  2. Ola says

    Good Preaching!!
    No 12- Wish I could agree with the handbag 😦 but my dear as the Hausa would say “yana gini” .. simple translation …its in the blood LOL

    No 6- Did you really take the clippers to your hair? No please tell me you are joking..
    Hair cutting is a skill my dear Yvonne. One best left to the Barber!!


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