Featured, Parenting
Comments 6

Always In Daughters’ Corners…A Warrior Mother

Warrior mum

Warrior mother cheering on her cubs at a Sports Day 2014

The best advice I was ever given on parenting was from our family Doctor, who is now retired. A mother herself. I had just given birth to my first child who became ill with a cold. I felt she was not recovering quickly enough so I kept taking her back to get the Doctors Surgery for reassurance.

As a new, inexperienced and scared mother, the reassurance I needed and wanted from a medical expert was to tell me in simple and sympathetic language that my precious gift was not dying.

Feeling like a frustrated and confused nuisance who wouldn’t and couldn’t stop worrying, I picked up the phone and made yet another appointment for my daughter with her Doctor. Only this time, I did not need to give my daughter’s details to the receptionist. I had called so many times, she recognised my voice. She knew who I was. I felt more like a nuisance.

At the appointment time, as I walked into the consulting room, I had a weeping fit. A weeping fit that lasted a few minutes but seemed to be for ever. When my fit subsided, my understanding and nonjudgmental Doctor looked at me compassionately and in a stern voice said, “YOU MUST ALWAYS FIGHT FOR YOUR CHILD, NO ONE ELSE IS GOING TO DO IT FOR HER”. There and then, I had my parenting ‘Aha’. 

My parenting ‘Aha’ gave birth to a new me. The warrior mum.

As a warrior mum, I always stand up for my daughters, I always will. As long as they are in the right, I am not fearful to fight and speak up for them. This is the promise I have made to them. A promise that was never made to me growing up.

Growing up, my mother never stood up for me or my siblings. She couldn’t. My Yoruba culture forbade her from doing it. Only bad and indulging mothers stood up to the other adults or authorities on behalf of their children. Good mothers who wanted disciplined and good children were expected to be on the side of the enemy. The enemies came in the form of adults who had some form of authority in the society. An example is a teacher.

A teacher was treated as a god in the society I grew up in. I felt a teacher could do no wrong in the eyes of my mother. Speak to any Yoruba person my age and they’ll tell you the same thing. Teachers were just the perfect human beings who were never challenged so they got away with a lot.

Modestly (but blowing my platinum trumpet), my daughters are very blessed and lucky to have me as their mother. A warrior mum, who is as bold as a lion, and always fighting for them. A warrior mother who has in the past challenged people in authority, and indeed anyone else (if needed). I do it because my daughters are unable to do it for themselves – YET.

As a mother, one of my duties is to equip my daughters with the skills to stand up, speak up and challenge authority or people no matter how uncomfortable it may feel. But for now, I am their warrior mother. And always will.

To all the mothers out there, Happy Mother’s Day.

Yvonne xxx

This entry was posted in: Featured, Parenting

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At 23, I left Nigeria where I was born and moved to England.In England, I got my Law degree and married John. I like things to be tidy and organised but as a working mum with young daughters, that is hard to achieve. But thanks to John, I have coped so far. If you'd to know more, it's all on my about page.

6 Comments

  1. Carolina says

    You are an inspiration Yvonne. Thanks for such powerful and meaningful message. I will always have this message in me to help me in my journey as a mother. Motherhood shows you love does exist and it is endless for our children. Happy mothers day xxx

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    • Dearest Carolina, thanks for your lovely comment. Happy Mother’s Day to you too. You are an inspiration to me too and we are all on this journey together. X

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  2. Stand up for her children, that’s what a mother should be doing everyday, twenty four hours of the day, day in, day out, well done Yvonne. But I disagree on the Yoruba culture thing, it’s not all Yoruba parents that are guilty of not standing up for their children especially nowadays.

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    • Naijamum, thank you for your comment. It is always a pleasure to read from you. About the cultural aspect of not standing up for your child, I can only speak from my experience. The Yoruba women around me did not stand up for their children. Like my mother, they feared judgement. Judgement from other parents who thought they were overindulging their kids. I agree with you that nowadays, things are changing. And for the better too. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I need to share this. In Nigeria a warrior mum is still seen by some as one who spoils her child. If we don’t fight for our children, who will?

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    • Thank you so much Rekiya. It is not just in Nigeria, This problem is everywhere. A lot of women just do not fight for their children openly. They think it is unacceptable because the society tells them so. I fight for mine whenever they need me to. At the same time, I am teaching them to question what they are told. This is my way of teaching them to fight.

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