Parenting
Comments 5

Broken Plate Left Behind

My Mum left this world forever leaving all her “junk” behind.

She left all her expensive but hardly worn “Iro and Buba” attires. These attires were sewn out of Swiss lace, Guinea brocade and Hollandis Wax. The Swiss lace, she wore only on Sundays to church or parties.

She was known for not wearing the same outfit twice.

Did I mention she did not take any of her chunky gold jewellery with her? The gold jewellery she purchased from traders who brought them back from Saudi Arabia. Some designed by the local goldsmith who lived down the road from us.

I guess she did not want grave robbers visiting her in her resting place.

My Broken Wedgewood Dinner Plate

My Broken Wedgewood Dinner Plate

Those “China” plates… her precious “China” dinner service. If we were lucky, used once a year.

When I was 10 years old, my mum died. The death was somewhat a shock but I dealt with it as children do. Don’t be fooled, children do deal with these things perfectly. However, my innocent mind could not comprehend why my mum did not take her “valuable” items with her.

Certainly, she must need them in her new home.

Today, all the “junk” she left are no more. They have died too.

Being my mother’s daughter, I followed in her footsteps. I too had special “junk” for special occasions, in particular, clothes.

Not anymore.

Now and most of the time, I wear what was once my “Sunday best”. I must warn you,sometimes, I look like I’ve been invited to Buckingham Palace for a cup of tea with her Majesty Queen Elizabeth.

Some other days, I look like I had just partied with Kanye and Riri, we exclude Kim. Sorry Kim.

On very cold days, I look like a pimp in my polyester fur coat and bowler hat.

And on very bad days, a tramp.

I am not going to irritate you with the Aha moment that changed my thinking. But I will tell you what I know.

  1. When I die, I’ll be cremated without  my “Junk”.
  2. My children may not want my “junk”.
  3. My husband’s new partner (he is a catch) would get rid of them with automatic alacrity.

What is the point of this story, you maybe wondering.

Well, yesterday, my seven-year old daughter mistakenly dropped one of our Wedgewood dinner plate. She felt sad. I was not. To me, it was just a plate, an expensive plate, a faded expensive plate.

My old self would have shouted the house down like my mother did when we accidentally broke her cheap everyday “China” plates. Surprisingly, I was calm.
I explained to my daughter that the plate was just a “thing”. She is smart and she got it. She stopped being sad.

To the mothers at the school gates, who comment and wonder why I dress the way I do. I hope you understand now.

As long as I am alive, I am going to wear and enjoy my “junk”.

In my ignorant mind, apart from the Ancient Egyptians, I have never seen or heard of anyone buried with their earthly stuff. Have you?

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At 23, I left Nigeria where I was born and moved to England.In England, I got my Law degree and married John. I like things to be tidy and organised but as a working mum with young daughters, that is hard to achieve. But thanks to John, I have coped so far. If you'd to know more, it's all on my about page.

5 Comments

  1. I must say I read all of it, from start to finish; and my interest was sustained till I got to the last word.This is to say I love it. If many people could grow up in thinking like you Yvonne, the world would be a better place. Many of us are too attached to earthly things we value them more than human beings. You are passing good education to your darling girl.Bravo!

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  2. What a wise and insightful post. I have trouble letting go of material items, but I’m starting to learn I can keep just one item that correlates with a particular memory, say, a group photo from a family vacation. The stuff itself isn’t worth much. The lesson you taught your seven-year-old was a good one for me to hear as well.

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    • Thank you so much tomrains for your honest comment. Just like you, I am still learning to let go of stuff. I am getting better but its baby steps. And hopefully, we can share tips that works.
      Welcome to my Blog. I hope you enjoy this ride with me. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

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